Healthy Relationships.

I have always been careful about words, especially when it came to using word love. I would never say it unless i meant it, and i will always use it with good intentions, but it has become apparent to me that not everyone else has those same morals. When I tell you "i love you", it means flat out that i do. It means i will do my best to make you happy, and try my hardest to make sure that it always stays that way. When i say "i love you" it doesn't mean that i "like" you, or that i have an "infatuation" with you, it means straight up, that you have a spot in my heart and a bond to my life that no one else has. You are singled out from every other person that means anything to me, and you are on a level that they cannot reach. It means i will not give up on you during the hard times because i know that there are better times ahead of us. So, my question is...why doesn't everyone see it this way?


There have been many times when i have had close friends of mine come to me and ask me for advice. Why didn't it work out? What went wrong? Is it me, or him? Most of the time i provide the same answer; you two didn't understand the true meaning of a relationship. A lot of times in high school especially, two people find themselves dating just simply because they want to date. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that, because there isn't. If it wasn't for all the dead end, no reason relationships, we would never learn anything about what we want in a significant other. But can't two people like each other and have fun together without having a full blown relationship together? Today it seems to me that if two people "like" each other, that they are expected to enter a relationship, and make it seem like something straight from a fairytale. My outlook on this: why enter a relationship that is going to fail, quickly? In order to have a successful relationship, the individuals need to understand each other and their morals, respect each other and about 100 other things in between.
I'm not saying that people that just meet and start dating, cant have a healthy relationship, because that would make me a hypocrite. Kevin and I are living, walking proof that it can happen, but evaluate your situation before you have any serious long term plans with the person you are dating, or start using the three words "i love you". They will mean a lot more when they are coming from a spot in your heart that has a true meaning. Don't standardize these three words with every boyfriend/girlfriend you have, only say them when you actually mean them.

Here are the thirteen things, that i think are most important when building a long-lasting healthy relationship, and experiencing the meaning real love:


1. Don't expect your significant other to be responsible for your personal happiness

• Too many times others blame their partner for being the core reason of their unhappiness. Take a step back and ask yourself; is my partner is really that reason? In reality they may have nothing to do with your current unhappiness at all. The human mind will always try to scapegoat its way out of a personal situation and pin the blame on someone else. REMEMBER, it is NOT your partners job to keep you happy. Their only job is to be the best significant other they can be for you, not your counselor.

2. Make and keep clear agreements

• What do you both believe in? Establish boundaries, and agreements and make sure they are kept to the fullest extent. This way your partner will not be left feeling betrayed, or misunderstood.

3. Use communication to establish a common ground

• You can always be right, or you can have a healthy relationship. Listen to your partners outlook, and find common ground to the problem you are being faced with. Give a litte, get a little.

4. Approach your relationship as a learning experience

• Both of you are learning about each other. Always remember that your partner not might understand the things that you want at certain times. Take things slow, and easy. Make sure you both are learning about each other at the same pace.

5. Tell the unarguable truth

• Truth hurts sometimes! By telling the truth at all times, your partner will have a strong trust for you and your word. Remember, the truth is better than being lied to.

6. Forgive one another

• Again, this relationship is a learning experience for the both of you. Let go of the past, focus on the future. Do not sweat the small things, and focus on the bigger picture- your future together.

7. Review your expectations

• Are they too high? Are you looking for someone "perfect" instead of someone right for you? Everyone is going to have flaws, and make mistakes. Don't set the bar too high, or you will be left disappointed every time.

8. Be responsible

• Always take your partners morals into consideration before making a decision that could effect them. I've had a busy week, so should i really go out tonight? Maybe i should make some time for him/her.

9. Appreciate yourself and your partner

• Over use thank you, let them know that you are truly grateful for them and everything that they do. Even just sending them a text that lets them know your thinking of them can leave them feeling appreciated and loved.

10. Admit your mistakes

• No one is perfect! It feels good to know that we are humans, and humans don't always do the right thing. Admitting you have messed up, gives a sense of responsibility, and accountability.

11. Spend quality time together

• It should not matter what your doing, as long as you are spending some one-on-one time together. Lean on each other, and enjoy the time you have.

12. Laugh together

• Don't take everything so seriously! Learn to adapt to each others sense of humor, and learn to appreciate it.

13. Support one another

• You are each others biggest fans! Support all the positive things going on in eachothers lives. ALways try to outweigh the bad times by the good times.