There comes times in your life when you find yourself changing your own morals and standards. What you may believe in one day, may not be what you believe in the next. Your tolerance level may drop or rise, and there may be things in your life that no longer fit. When this happens i think it is important to just accept that fact and move on from it. The lingering of the past may be your next roadblock on your way to the future.
Growing up, I've been through a lot of changes. Changing homes, schools, friends, morals, everything you could guess. I, myself, have to admit that i have not always been one to let go of the past so easily. I had it in my mind that somehow i could go back and change it, somehow i could make things right, but in all reality i only proved myself wrong time and time again.
One thing i consider this to be a big issue in is relationships and friendships. We have it in our head that if something is wrong with a person, we can change them, that we can make it right. Whether it is a drug-addicted friend, cheating-addicted boyfriend, or even a gambling-addicted parent the game all remains the same. Each one of them have a weakness; drugs, girls, and gambling. You can spend time and energy trying to change a game that will always be being played, or you can tell them honestly what you think and let them make the choice. Most of the time they are going to make their own decision no matter what you say anyways, so in all honesty what are you suppose to do? When you care about someone, you don't want to stand by and watch them go down the wrong path, but if it is the path they have already chosen, i don't feel that it is my place to pull them off. Now i have had the drug-addicted friend, and the cheating-addicted boyfriend, and i gave my best efforts to fix them. I was everything i should be to them and still it couldn't neutralize the craving for the addiction they were suffering with. That fact alone brought me to a place where i was being brought down by the negativity they brought to the table. MY grades were crashing, MY happiness was lost, and most importantly i didn't feel like i had MY own life anymore. My whole life was being spent dedicated to trying to pull them out of their addictions and bring them to other things. Whether it was God, sports, studies, or just all around trying to get them to enjoy life, nothing seemed to compare to their addiction.
So i sat back on my own and thought about it. This problem, was bigger then me. Call me a bad friend but i pulled myself from this situation. I could not lecture them long enough, show enough affection, or spend enough time to make these people believe they were worth more then that.
I dumped the cheating-addicted boyfriend, and stopped being so close with the drug-addicted friend. I started to focus on myself, my schooling, and the other people around me. I'm glad to say it has paid off. With my dreams of Law school i have no room for error, and your dreams don't either. You will never be able to give back to the ones who effect you in a positive way, if you spend all your energy trying to fix the ones who are effecting you in a negative way.
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